Just because a boss is a few notches above you, don't assume he or she feels comfortable there. A lot of secretly (and not so secretly) insecure people become supervisors and a kind of paranoia seeps in. There's a constant fear that a real shiner on their staff is going to outsparkle them. The most likely candidates for insecurity are first-time bosses, especially those who have to manage former colleagues who may have been up for the same job. "If a former peer becomes your boss, move quickly and tell them you feel awkward, but you're willing to support them," says Yeager. "You'll probably be able to tell if they want you to come along with them or if they want to grind you in the dust." If you see the situation is not going to be a bingo party, you may be able to get them to help you make a lateral move in the company.
If you do find that the person in the corner office of your life is a bundle of insecurity, you've got to make every attempt to give her positive feedback and prove you aren't after her job (even if you are). Though it may make your stomach queasy, constantly reassure the poor devil of her authority. All this you must do so that your career won't be stunted by a weak person who can only deal with strength by shutting it out.
And you must do it until you can get a transfer to another boss who will gladly let you fly.
After researching this piece, I've surmised that my nightmare boss fell into the last category, which would have been helpful to know back then. I realize that she was insecure about her own abilities -- and so she took out her insecurities on me. I suppose she needed to prove she really did deserve to be where she was. You know, I can almost feel sorry for her. Almost. (-- Not! DH)
By Jeannie Ralston, New York City. FROM: Mademoiselle magazine, March 1991.
